What do you see?

hi·jab
noun
  1. a head covering worn in public by some Muslim women.
    • the religious code that governs the wearing of the hijab.

How Google defines Hijab. Pretty simple definition that is straight to the point. However, this one word sparks everything from anger to interest. I’m not going to get into that, because that is not this type of blog. I’m just here so the next time you see a Hijabi (what some of us call ourselves) you might view her a bit differently. Most of us (some are not) are approachable and conversational. We have ideas and opinions and a sense of fashion. We listen to music and watch reality television. We have our favorite novels, artists, blogs, and podcasts. We like coffee and tea. We can be feminists (yes, it’s possible). Some of us play sports, watch sports, and could not name a team. WE ARE HUMAN.

Inside the Hijab is about exactly that. What goes on inside my mind along with a few other fellow Hijabis that I know. We think about everything, but just to name a few topics you can expect to read about here: religion, family, politics, pop culture, music, television, fashion, hair care, make up, personal problems and travel. If i’m lucky enough, we might get some cool features.

Muah — Monique

 

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Insta-Ration or Inspiration

Social media is what life is now. We like, retweet, double-tap, follow, & poke all day everyday. [Well, I hope we aren’t still poking! That was definitely the creepiest thing on Facebook!] I have quite a few accounts on different platforms and I am a pretty avid user. I use Facebook to keep in contact with distant friends and family like most users. My Instagram is where I get to be ‘artsy’ and ‘creative’ and my Snapchat is for my silly videos that I can’t wait to disappear. However, with the number of followers everyone is striving to have, at some point we have to ask ourselves, how much social media is too much?

I definitely have my favorite Insta accounts that I check on a daily. Instagram beauty gurus and make up artists that I check for tips and looks daily. The account where I get all my juicy celebrity gossip and pop-culture news. My ‘healthy grams’ where I get diet and workout information from. The clapback accounts that give me life, and those ‘dream’ accounts that serve as ‘inspiration.’ That was all good until I found myself consumed in checking my social media all the time. I would wake up, check my feed while brushing my teeth, in traffic, walking from the parking lot, on break, on lunch, and the list goes on. I had become obsessed with my feeds on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat & Twitter. This became unhealthy. [Not to mention FB news article arguing! That is a real thing and I am guilty of it.]

Not only was it unhealthy because of the amount of time I was wasting, but because I was getting depressed by everything I was liking and retweeting.

‘Omg, look at her body, I wish I could just look like that for 5 minutes.’

‘Wow, look at her new car, if only I could afford that.’

‘Her butt isn’t even real, why do people obsess over her?’

This was not good. My self esteem started plummeting, and I started trying to spend money to look like these people. Styling my headscarf like the 50 million perfect ‘Hijab’ blogging stylists on Instagram! [BTW, it never turns out like how they say it will in the tutorial!!] Spending hours and $$$ on makeup I didn’t need, so I could look like like every make-up artist on the gram. Trying to live above my means to keep up with the Jones that earn $10,000,000 posting videos on Youtube. These are all unhealthy goals. 

Ask yourself, if the person you are following on social media makes you feel less than in anyway. If the answer is yes, then you need to click “UNFOLLOW!” Right AWAY! You should never feel like you need to be anything else than who you are! There is nothing wrong with inspiration. The feeling you get from someone’s post that makes you believe the sky is no longer the limit. That is inspiration. Insta-ration is the feeling that you get when you become green with envy because you are lacking. 

We have to do better in understanding the difference and understanding our own value. Never be afraid to unfollow or unfriend someone that makes you feel less that what you are worth. You deserve it!

P.S. Don’t check your feed and drive! 

Something I Bought:

Black Radiance Eyeliner – This is absolute perfection for a fraction of the price. Available at Wal-Mart, it has become my go-to everyday eyeliner for work. It lasts all day and doesn’t smear! It is blacker than my soul and it dries quickly. If you are looking for an affordable alternative to your $15+ eyeliner, this is your girl. Try it, you won’t be disappointed!

Catch this Weekend:

The Last OG – Tracy Morgan and Tiffany Haddish are HILARIOUS! This show that airs on TBS is the funniest show I have watched in a while! The only downside — It is extremely commercial heavy so I recommend recording so you can fast forward, because honestly, ain’t nobody got time for that!

Soul Searching:

Childish Gambino – This is America [So much beautiful imagery & symbolism]

My Habit: Reading anything from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | Currently reading Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions 

To All My Muslim Followers – RAMADAN MUBARAK

To All My Followers – Bonne Nuit 

Reclaiming My Time

If you are any thing like me, everyone & everything else come before yourself. I have two kids, a husband, a full-time job, a family that requires work, and random other things that fall into no category at all that require my time. To be blunt, it is completely unhealthy. So I, like our wise Aunt Maxine, am Reclaiming My Time.

Time is fleeting, especially, when you are playing the balancing act in life. Too many responsibilities, too little time. What is the answer? Make time. It sounds impossible, and it nearly is, but it has to be done. For your physical, mental, emotional health, and every other kind of health you can imagine. When I start neglecting myself, I get physially sick, my anxiety flares, and my irritation levels are unforgiving.

If you are a parent, more than likely, you are putting yourself last. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying, “Stop taking Malik to soccer and reallocate that time and money to weekly massages.” So do not start wilding. (However, everyone is allowed 1.5 moments a week to wild out. Use it wisely!) What I am saying is, next time Malik has soccer practice, take a long walk around the track to reclaim your time, thoughts, emotions, and health. When Malik is done working on becoming the next best soccer player, or bench warmer, (I don’t know Malik’s skill level) you will be a happier mom. More relaxed, gathered and aware of your emotions. Malik will appreciate this Mom more, and you will appreciate the world around you more as well.

I don’t reclaim my time in a conventional manner, as at the moment, it doesn’t happen until kids are in the bed and hubby is work or sleep. I take that quiet time in my life to allow my mind to wander on unimportant things. (Meaning, don’t think about dentist appointments, bills, car repairs, or class lectures.) I examine my emotional hills and valleys of the week and how I reacted to them. I think about what happened on Game of Thrones. I paint my nails, I watch Beyoncé videos, reread my favorite books, the list goes on. Sometimes I stretch. (I should do that more.) Do what allows you to reclaim your time, and in turn, reclaim your mind, body, and soul. Reconnect with yourself on a new level.

Meet yourself for the first time over and over again.

Something I bought:

BodyDew_Original_0416
Pure Romance Body Dew
The Pure Romance Body Dew is something I am obsessed with. I put it on right after a nice shower. It leaves me feeling moisturized and the smell is feminine, but not too overbearing. Try it for yourself, you will not regret it!

Catch This Weekend:

INSECURE: If you have not been watching this HBO Series, you need to start! Its is funny, relatable, serious, and addicting. Season two has begun, so you have enough time to catch up. HBO is also giving out a free 30 day trial, so watch the first season and get addicted! #bingewatch

Soul Searching:

Ctrl — SZA : Smooth album by SZA. If you have been sleeping on this songstress, it is time to wake up!

My Habit: TheShadeRoom Instagram — Judge all you want!

Chocolate Chip Cookie from Starbucks… One Word… YUM

May Peace Be Upon You — Monique

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tea Time w|You…

Waking up on Thursday, convinced it was Friday. 😦 #thestruggle

What a quite eventful time off… First off, let me apologize for taking so long after my first blog to give you something new to read. It was Ramadan, I am Muslim, fill in the blanks.

It was our first Ramadan in Orlando, Florida, away from friends and family. #Happy, also away from the heat that is the desert of Las Vegas. That didn’t stop the nostalgia. I missed our usual restaurants,  iftar dates with friends and family alike. My favorite Masjid where everyone knows my name and Salaams flow easily, however, it was nice to experience something different. We didn’t make any new friends, but we did try a few HALAL places! Halal Chinese!! It was a better thought than reality. According to the locals, we went to the wrong one, assuming there are two. Either way, lesson learned. We had some great Moroccan and of course kabob. I had some southern seafood, however, not quite enough to quell my appetite. To my Muslim readers, I hope your Ramadan was just an enlightenment as mine. To my non-Muslim readers, Summer Sadness is almost over!

Topics of discussion: Marriage is Rough!

I promise, what you put in, is what you get out. And when I say “You” and mean the two of you. Marriage is a dance of two partners. Sometimes it is quick like a tango or salsa, sometimes it moves slow like a waltz, and sometimes you both will be doing two very different dances. Most the time my husband is swaying side to side and I’m full on tap dancing across the kitchen floor while my children are doing some type of “pop, lock, and drop it” to their own beat. The hardest part is getting back to the same dance at the same time, and on the same beat. This is never easy, but every marriage with a decent foundation will go through its cycles. Some marriages have cycles that have yearly rotations, some have monthly rotations. It’s all about understanding and communication. I haven’t always been great at that. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to talk, however, communication with your life partner is very different. It involves being sensitive to their needs both the vocal and non-vocal ones. Saying what you want while being cognizant of how your partner will react is a form of love and compassion. This has to happen on both sides for communication to be worth something. The next time you want to tell your partner how you feel, try to imagine their reaction and build the conversation from a positive reaction. Don’t purposely use words that will rile up your partner. You both have to maintain some level of respect and admiration. Share with me how you and your significant other communicate and if it works for you two. I’ve love to hear what works for you all!

Something I Bought:

Coconut Oil! — Why you ask? Because it great for everything. I put it on my face, my hair, my skin, my kids. The results are noticable. The areas on my face that I targeted have shown signs of improvement. Same goes for my daughters elbows! I’ve seen some users cook with it. My level of expertise is not there yet, but as soon as it is, I will definitely share my take. 😛 Target has a great one. Click on the link to view it.

Catch this Weekend:

GAME OF THRONES: Children will be put to bed early, dinner will be ready, and the dvr will be recording. Not because I’m not going to watch it live, because you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be, but because I will need to re watch it many times again.

Soul Searching:

4:44 — Take a listen, you won’t regret. I promise.

My Habit: This is The Read Podcast Kid Furry and Crissle are not rated G, but they are definitely something I look forward to. As a matter of fact, I stalk their instagram when their podcast is late. Call me an #addict!

Payday Candy Bar | So underrated & so delicious. It’s cool, the less you buy, the more I get to buy! Try one this weekend and let me know if it was as good as you remember!

Namaste — Monique